"i'm sorry you are sad and lonely. i wish i had some sage words that would instantaneously turn your sorrows to joys but i don't.. because i know how you feel and i have been very lonely in my life and i know the pain, no words can fix it because healing comes from within yourself.. no scriptures or advice or quotes someone gives to you will make your pain go away. god is all around you and all the beauty and joy you experienced is still available to you. sometimes life appears hollow and futile and we wonder how we ever thought it made sense and inspired us to create beautiful things... one day again you will be moved to create by the beauty of the universe."
i had a smoothie of feelings after reading her email, i knew it was true but my heart was so heavy i felt like it would not be true for me.
turned out i was wrong, as we all are so many times in life!! as it turns out im signed up to go to india for 4 months starting in january to work at an orphanage and travel. 4 MONTHS. INDIA. IIINNNDDIIIIIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! IM GOING TO INDIA!!!!! i cant believe it!! and now i have a job at one of my all time favorite places, THE PANNIKIN!!!! virgen madre de jesus. when it rains it pours. i guess a little faith and hope goes along way.
i have no fucking idea where life is going to take me. i used to have a "plan" for my life, now OPPOSITE. i know i just have to roll with the punches, there is no way in hell, heaven, or earth that you can plan for all of the terrible and wonderful things that happen to you in life. you never stop discovering new things about the world or yourself. i can feel a twinkle of hope creeping back into my
life again.
