relation reminder

i was texting a friend last sunday who has been really going through a hard time
she had a dear family member pass away
this is not a new feeling to me
i have so much empathy for her
i feel how she feels
i remember when i was released
last year
how my parents tried to protect me 
i felt like a caged animal
how my close friends and mentors
kept a close eye on my
they tip toed around me
like i was in a zoo
oh GOD
I FUCKING HATED THAT


i still hate those memories


but now im reflecting on it
everyone in my house is asleep
my sisters are off doing their own thing
a peaceful night in for myself


i never regret anything
after all experience is the best teacher
but the thing i come close to "regretting"
was being disrespectful to my mom
& fighting with my dad
they just didnt know what to do
and neither did i


with my sisters sometimes i just dont get them!!!!!!!
were all super close
but each have our differences
sometimes i feel jealous & hurt because i think theyre neglecting me
or they feel like im being out of line or dramatic
or were tired & impatient & hungry
OR WHAT EVER


but i love my siblings so much i would take a bullet for them in a millisecond 
 an the thing is
they will always be there for me
no matter how bad i fuck up
even if i murdered someone i know theyed help me bury the body
ok thats a little over the top
but still
always here
family always comes first
theyre here to help 
let them in when you can




portrait i did of my sisters rachel, kim, & my brother joseph & i that i completed today