otra vida

i have a friend from 5th grade that me and my sister kim recently connected with. she and her family went through really hard times in middle school, then in high school went through some pretty radical changes, became a born again christian & went on a ton of missions, got married last summer right when she turned 18, and now shes about to have a baby!! i cant even believe it!! her hubby is in the military, they have their own apartment, shes my age and is already starting her own family. i wonder what her rush was to get married. what is anyones rush to get married??


 i dont really understand this whole marriage concept anyway. what is wrong with just living with someone & having a family without the ceremony & contract?? to me its pretty much the same terms of commitment with or with out a wedding. what do young and ultra-religious adults think about when they get married at 18/19/20?? do they feel like sex out of wedlock is such a terrible sin and god will smite them or something??


see the thing is when you get married so young you dont really have time to grow into your own person. you dont get to really experience life and find out who you are and what you want out of it. you dont know what life partner you need to have in your life yet because really, you dont know what you need to create from your life. honestly, i feel that god would worry more about how you grow and mature as a person so that you can give the best of yourself to better the world rather than if you stay abstinent or not.


personally, i dont think you should really be in a committed relationship until your in your late 20's or 30's. i know that i will not christen someone as a life partner until i have a stable job and i have my head on straight about life. and to be honest, i dont want to get married. i dont have a dream for a big white wedding, i dont want the picket fence and the 1950's house with my  successful business husband and my 2.5 children and labrador retriever. i am independent and determined about life & i feel like i should have my partner have the same attitude about life. 


i dont know if i could ever live like my friend. i dont think i could ever settle down so easily, or even at all, and take the backseat to my husbands life and raise my children. i dont judge women for making that choice, even if i disagree with their thinking. i admire my friend who has the strength to become a loving wife and mother for being so young, and i truly hope the best for her and hope that she has many blessing coming to her in her life!!